Flipping Your Lid

The thinking brain (upper brain) allows us to think rationally, make decisions, and problem solve with kindness and empathy.

The emotional brain (lower brain) is where our reactions, emotions, and automatic responses come from.

Sometimes when our emotions become too overwhelming we ‘flip our lid’. This means that our thinking brain has gone offline, leaving us with only our emotional brain in use. When this happens, we are unable to think reasonably, make good decisions, or problem solve effectively. We need to calm our big feelings to reboot our thinking brain and bring it back online.

What this means for children:

• Children’s brains aren’t fully developed so they ‘flip the lid’ more often and need more help ‘reconnecting’ their thinking brain
• When children ‘flip the lid’ it is not a time to try and rationalise or reason with them. We need to teach and help them to calm down. You will know what works best for your individual child e.g. hugs or soothing gestures or physical activity to help them return to a calm state.
• Positive time outs can also help children and adults calm down. The problem will still be there to be addressed when everyone is a bit calmer.
• “Name it to tame it”, verbally label the emotion (e.g. It sounds like you were really upset when … happened)